Sunday, February 19, 2023

King David Was A Cold Blooded Murderer: How The Bible Teaches The Righteousness - Or At Least The Normalcy -- Of Egregiously Violent Behavior

 

Alan: Among Old Testament figures, King David's importance runs neck and neck with Abraham and Moses.

Notably, excerpts from King David's "Psalms" are read at every Catholic mass.

Here is a summary of King David's career. 

One of his six (or seven?) wives was purchased from King Saul for two hundred Philistine foreskins. (N.B. Many exegetes believe the modern word "Palestinian" derives from "Philistine.")

The "asking price" for Saul's daughter was one hundred foreskins.

But in a burst of boisterous bloodletting, David originated "Twofer Tuesday" and handed over 200. 

Try this exercise in active imagination... 

You've just killed 200 men -- leaving behind many more widows and orphans (proportionately) that 9/11 did -- and the first thing you do is strip their bodies naked so you can slice off their foreskins to buy a wife. 
http://www.errancy.com/how-many-philistine-foreskins-did-david-pay-saul/ 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_David%27s_wives

Now contemplate the image of King Saul counting these foreskins, one by one, to ensure he was not short-changed.  

King David also arranged the death of Bathsheba's husband, General Uriah -- a faithful servant of The Crown -- after David, spying on Bathsheba's rooftop bath, was smitten by her physical beauty and could not resist appropriating her, even at the cost of murder.

Then there's David's "trench coat delight" in public exhibitionism as documented in this episode of Peeping-Tom-murderer's life:

20 When David returned to bless his household, Saul’s daughter Michal came out to meet him and called out, “How the king of Israel honored himself today by undressing himself right in front of his women staff members, just like any pervert[a] would dare to expose himself!”  
2 Samuel 6:20  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Samuel+6%3A20&version=ISV

And finally, we have David's relationship with Jonathan, an intense love relationship that has always impressed me as "gay" (which I do not mention to malign but to focus).

"I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."
2 Samuel, 1:26
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+samuel+1%3A26&version=HCSB
Make no mistake.

I very much admire the ancient Jews for representing their unembellished warts, shortcomings and irregularities. 

No other religion's scripture dwells on critical self-examination with the tenacity and jeremiad ferocity of the Old Testament prophets and chroniclers.

This determination to represent "the good" and "the bad" is a High Virtue, virtually absent in other peoples' histories.

David Loved Jonathan More Than Women

King David
Wikipedia

"Myth and Reality of King David's Jerusalem" 
David Gavron, Jewish Virtual Library

"Worst Bible Passages: The Violence Of Scripture"

Time To Expunge Catholicism Of Traditions And Texts That Represent God As A Terrorist

I don't claim to be a good Catholic.
But, like Stephen Colbert, I am a "practicing Catholic."
In the comment section below, check out the number of ancient Israelites who were not good Jews, but laid claim to the claim - including King David himself, a cold-blooded murderer.
It is a fact that I stopped reading my two children bible stories when I started to do so, and then realized how violent (and generally depraved) many of them were.
Violence is the opiod of the people, and from the moment Cain killed Able, the bible demonstrates this truth - now embodied by the unprecedented murder rates in bible belt and other red states. (Yes, liberal cities have high murder rates, but statewide murder rates (and deaths of despair) are highest where people bang bibles most.
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